Gahhh! Someone should really publish an article (or a book, even better) on having a good, likeable conversation with your boyfriend’s parents.

Not that I haven’t met them before, I actually met them first before I met Jeff. His mom was the one who told him to make friends with me because I was new here and I just moved from California.

But that was a church gathering, and we weren’t together then (duh). Things are waaay different now.

Why am I suddenly feeling this way? Because 2 nights ago I got invited to have dinner with their family.

I tried to put down the said invitation (I know it’s rude but let me explain first) because this is the 2nd dinner that I will be having with them as The Girlfriend and the first was one was so DYAHE (how the heck do u translate that english? Can someone please tell me the exact english word for this? It’s driving me nuts trying to explain this to Jeff) that I will not even gon tell you about it anymore and I was still traumatized so yeah, I was not ready yet. I thought I need to do some further research to gear me up before I go down the battlefield…

But nooooooooooo! I kept telling Jeff that I can’t come so his mom personally called my phone and invited me herself! How can I turn that down? I had no choice!

Dengit.

So there I was, Friday night, stuffing my face with BBQ pork fried rice with some sweet and sour pork while having a conversation with La Familia Velarde, trying hard to be the most adorable future DIL (daughter-in-law) that I, in my opinion, will never be.

And my lovely boyfriend *looks at Jeff and pinches his cheeks*, being no help at all, made the situation even worse *digging my nails on his cheeks*. He just had to tell the damn story huh *his cheeks are now bleeding*.

What’s The Story, you may ask? Oh you know, when we met, I thought he was gay.

Hey, I just moved from California okay, and my school was pretty ghetto. I was surrounded by guys who only wear hiphop and the only guy who wears American Eagle (aka WHITE BOY/surfer style) was an Asian gay guy. And Jeff was wearing an American Eagle shirt when I met him.

Not that I think all guys who wear American Eagle are all gay, but I didn’t know any better then, okay.

So what’s the big deal about The Story? Well, uh, if you’re a father, a somewhat strict father I may add, and someone just told you that your panganay looks gay, will that make you happy?

Nuh-uh. I didn’t think so too.

Of course when Jeff told them The Story they had to laugh because duh, it’s supposed to be a funny page in our lives but I think they didn’t think it was funny.

And I think they hate me.

Am I just stressing out too much about this?

Ugh. Remember Kate Hudson’s character in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days? Her name was Andie Anderson and she was the how-to girl - meaning her articles are just how to’s (ie. How to get away from a speeding ticket, How to get a date in a funeral, etc.) - at the magazine that she was working for. Well, I wish she was real, so she can write my damn article.

Ugh. K, till here.

Your suckiness,

xoxo Francesca Milyonarya

I’m yo daddy.

Gay terrorist.

Sex change.

Story of our lives.

One of the few.

I am you brother
You’re bestfriend forever
Singing the songs, the music that you liiiiiike
We’re brothers ’till the end of time
Together or not you’re always in my heart/mind
Your hurt, your feelings, in you will reign no mooooooore
(Repeat until you’re tired)